Speaking of Fear.........

There seems to be a real catalyst happening among my favorite bloggers, and, it seems, within my own self. selftaughtartist, misplaced and even penelopetwist (who has been blessed with the coolest name ever) are all exuding a new kind of breath. A new kind of perception. Just new stuff. Spring?

Selftaught and misplaced, both, have been discussing fear and there are these little marbles rolling around themselves in my gut right now as a result. Logically, it's clear that diving into one's fear is a powerful means of release and rising above....of productivity and power. And while I've gone there, it's rarely without having been pushed. And right now, as a result of their inspiration and insight, I feel the little push on my shoulder. The little voice urging "go there" "go there"..... and it's like walking across hot coals sometimes. It's like psycho-analysis.

Pema Chodron, a buddhist nun, talks about Sim and Ripka. Sim is the Tibetan word for "clutter of the mind". It's the buzzing and random dialogue and come-backs one never thought to use on time. It's the hesitation and the passion and the disorganization of thought. A stumbling over and over of just too many things. Our best friends, inspirations and worst enemies all vying for our mental attention. It's the stuff that gives us headaches, keeps us up later than we want to be, and gets on our fucking nerves. It's the stuff that makes our shoulders hurt.

Ripka is space. It's the space between all that clutter. The doorway between the in breath and the out breath. It's the place where the water meets the shore, when it's neither coming nor receeding, ebbing or flowing.

When I"m getting on my own nerves with all that fear and self doubt, when I'm avoiding writing with ridiculous, mundane, useless busy work, it's sometimes just a matter of sitting down, closing my eyes and saying over and over over and over

sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim sim

and then stop

take a deep breath

notice the space between

and then

R*i*p*k*a

Thanks.